Tuesday, February 6, 2007

The Wages of Sin

Here's the thing. We know why we're rooting against our team. We know why it's necessary. But if we think that knowledge leaves us innocent, that there won't be a judgment, well, I'm afraid it isn't that easy. We're angering the spirits of the ancestors here and we need to accept that and face our punishment. Which brings us to tonight's game.

Join the Mike Breen for President '08 Coordinating Committee:

"I've always thought anyone who does the wave should have their season tickets revoked." - Mike Breen, 4th quarter tonight.

Hearty kudos and salutations to you, Breeny! There is no excuse, no excuse, for that sort of behavior in the Garden. The Garden, for Christ's sake! IN MY HOME! IN MY BEDROOM! WHERE MY WIFE SLEEPS! ... where my children play with their toys.

That shit won't even fly at Conseco freaking Fieldhouse, and we're looking at it in the Garden?! Is this what happens when all your self-respect is gone? You root against your own team long enough that finally you lose all sense of identity and pride you ever had?

And so the ancestors have their say. The punishment is a losing just a little bit of your soul. Hey, I never said the ancestors were fair. We're doing what we have to do; they're doing what they have to do.

Am I Allowed to Enjoy Elton Brand?: One of the secret, arguably shameful joys of fantanking is how it loosens you up about enjoying the performance of opposing players. Now, a fan can always appreciate the play of a LeBron or an Agent Zero (especially, for some reason, with the NBA. It doesn't always work that way in other sports. Or maybe it's me). Really enjoying it is another matter. Should I feel bad watching Elton Brand methodically give the business to the Knicks throughout that first half?

See, this is where it always gets tricky for fans of bad teams. If you want to get into the lottery (um, not a factor for the Knicks) or get your coach or GM fired (there we are!) you can feel confident that you're wishing the best for your team by wishing the worst. But should you enjoy it? I'm not so sure you should. But here I go. In fact, I'm not ashamed of rooting for Elton to do his thing. Even at the risk of losing more shreds of my sports fan's soul. Anyway, none of this is why I ask the question.

What I mean is this: should I feel bad about rooting for Elton Brand because he went to Duke?

Jerome James Starts: The talk pre-game is that the Knicks are showcasing Big Snacks for a potential trade, but Breeny and Clyde also discuss how James provides the Knicks with a defensive presence to help out Eddy Curry. You know, because it's always a good sign when you need to supplement your center with a "defensive presence" like James. While Frye and Lee wait it out on the bench.

At the 3:16 mark James has committed two fouls and gets lifted for Lee. Breen: "And this experiment comes to an end." The Knicks immediately go on a 9-0 run. James never returns. Somewhere, LZ Granderson is molesting a collie.

The Al Trautwig Suicide Watch Enters Month #2: The Bounce expressed concern a couple weeks ago for the well-being of Al Trautwig, saying:

The guy looks like he almost cares. He looks like he just found his daughter's Myspace page. Something in his voice tells me he'll quit before the season ends, leaving MSG with no choice but to promote Bobbito Garcia.

Well, poor Trautwig is still far from recovery, telling us pre-game that the Knicks will be taking on "Elton Brant" and the Clippers.

All in all, it's really been downhill for Al since his Cool Runnings cameo. Although he did snap back long enough to slap the crowd's collective wrist for the whole wave thing.

Style Notes:

  • Quentin Richardson carries a European carryall. I'm sorry you had to hear it from me. (Cameras caught him on the way into the Garden. Photographic evidence if/when it appears.)

  • Why didn't anybody consult with me before giving Chris Kaman permission to cut his hair?

By the Way, Did You Want That Piece of Your Soul Back? Here You Go:


The Bounce said...

Holy hell, Mr. Fo, the ancestors are indeed stirring in place of eternal quietude somewhere beneath our Garden. From beyond the mortal veil of the ephemeral NBA, the specters of Trent Tucker (and to a lesser degree, Rory Sparrow) shriek for some sort of clarity. Wins as losses? Losses as wins? Contract buyouts? Jerome James? What the F?

I will say this, all Duke hating aside, I would sacrifice Jeffries, Robinson, Rose, James and probably even Q to bring Shane Battier to the Garden. Then I'd sign Trajan Langdon in order to bring that coveted "Eskimo" demographic back to the Garden for good.

g-fo said...

Ancestors, ghosts, the godhead, karma. Whatever the hell it is, clearly there's a psychic price to pay for rooting against your team, even if rooting against your team is the only option. Disease vs. cure. What can I say, it's a cruel universe.

But if it's really indeed an otherworldly thing, is an exorcism possible? What if we hired Michael Ray Richardson (back from the dead, as it were)?

New Name McGee said...

The LZ Granderson/Chris Broussard school of "Isiah's Not that Bad" must be attacked head-on. And it will. On this blog. Soon.

g-fo said...

RE: Bounce-approved nicknames: We've previously stated that Radmonovic is heretofore to be known as Vlad-Rad (though I have to admit I still prefer Rad-Man), and now I'd like to submit that Jerome James should be known in these pages as Big Snacks. I like that one. I found it on Wikipedia.

Anonymous said...

OH SNAP!!! YOU KEEPS IT REAL biggie...serious blog cred...serious blog cred. If you were in a street blogball game with other bloggers, you would totally school those fools!


Anonymous said...

All i can say is the childishness of the commenters here is ridiculous....I mean, this blogger is blogging his heart out. As biggie would say, bloggin ain't easy yo!

Keeps it real blogolicious!!!

Anonymous said...

At some point in a bloggers life, he needs to decide if he is a blogger or a mouse...or a blogger.

Anonymous said...

This is like the pancake of blogging...the friggin pancake dude. It is so blogging syrup.

The knicks are a bunch of thugs...