Wednesday, January 31, 2007

"Dear Entire NBA, You Got Serb-ed!"




Clyde put forth no less than two uses of "fortuitous bounce" in the fourth quarter last night against the Lakers. This proved to be fortuitous for the Knickerbockers -- they hung on to win. That said, Knicks v. Lakers sans Kobe Bryant was really underwhelming. Consider me barely whelmed, execpt for Vladimir Radmanovic's beard/hair which makes him look like a member of the Polyphonic Spree, and has me MAJORLY whelmed.

Side note: When Vlad was with the Sonics I actually heard Bill Walton describe him thusly: "Vladimir Radmanovic is chiseled like a Greek God." And there was no irony in Walton voice. There was, however, a good 10 seconds of dead air which followed Walton's words.

By the way, Vladamir shall be henceforth known throughout the Commonwealth of Bounce as Vlad-Rad. For I ask you, are Vlad's new beard, hair and dancing proclivities not, in fact, "rad"? (see explanation below). He may very well be near the top of my top-five favorite Serbian basketball players ever.

From the Mike Breen is Doing his Best to Avoid Killing Himself Dept: Breeny called the game last night "one of those trap games for the Knicks." Isn't that overstating the case a little bit? Kind of an odd turn of phrase to say that the Knicks, who struggle to win on any given night, might get "trapped" by a team missing its best player. When you're 7 or 8 games under .500 can you really get "trapped" by any team? "Tonight, Clyde, the Knicks take on the 8th Grade Girls team from P.S. 138 and you have to think that this could be one of those classic trap games for the Knicks." We need an industry standard for use of the phrase "trap game." I propose that the team you're referring to must be at least three games over .500 in order for that phrase to be employed.

Jamal Crawford Never Saw a Shot He Didn't Really, Really Like: I'm just going to go ahead and guess that Jamal probably shouldn't have heaved up a thre with the Knicks up five and less than two minutes to go. This was likely a mistep on his part. Isiah probably could have called a timeout and drawn something up here, but it probably would have been a 1-4 iso for Crawford anyway. I'm just throwing things out here. Just suggestions. But, Jamal's strategy was thus: dribble, let the clock run down, pass the ball. Now call for it back, dribble. Then shoot an off balance three.

Vlad-Rad is Rad and Bad: Crawford's shot led to a three from Vlad-Rad, putting the Lakers within two. Vlad-Rad then proceeded to skip to halfcourt and dance. I will do my best to describe the dance maneuver. Okay, I'm at a loss. Let me just say that for a moment it looked like he was going to do a Brett Farveian "six-shooters in the holster" but, at the last second, in a fit of Vlad-Radicalness, turned the gesture into a multi-step handshake with one of his teamates. But, what whelmed me in a way that I had never really been whelmed before, was that his dance was actually a commentary on Farve's six-gun shimmy. It was a celebratory sports dance about celebratory sports dancing, it was the Seinfield of post-basket boogies.

What turned Vladamir into a bearded dance fiend dedicated to deconstructing the very art of on field/court dancing in sports? My theory is that it could have been this fall while he was in Seattle (great color work by Borat on that clip by the way):





A frontal lobe-damaging fall, coupled with the move to big market Los Angeles, has morphed the once unassuming three-point shooting Vladimir into the persona you now recognize as Vlad-Rad the Destroyer. The new Lakers version of Vladimir is all about the music. He's really into Myspace. He does the handshake and one-arm mini-hug when greeting his male friends. He insists on people referring to him only as "Vlad-Rad." He calls his male friends "baby."

Now, finally, we have Vladimir at his most artistically bold. This is nothing less than a blossoming! A full blossoming. There is no more Vladimir. There is only Vlad-Rad, and he probably wants a record deal. Here he's ironically referencing the Shaq's "noodle-arm" move. That is just amazing. What'ch you got now, huh, rest of the NBA? "Dear Entire NBA, You Got Serb-ed!"





Contrast that with the pre-fall Radmanovic. Of course, there is no better background music to support early-period Vladamir shooting three pointers than 50 Cent and Lloyd Banks. What other music would YOU choose? Who the hell spends their time creating Vladamir Radmanovic "On Fire" graphic, by the way? But, watch the clip closely. This is not the free-wheeling Vlad of 2007 vintage. His on court style is careful, almost tentative. It's almost like a different Vladimir. Like I said, it's a blossoming.




6 comments:

Amanda Hogginkiss said...

I thought it was "Rad-Man." And if you want to see an explanation as to why 50 Cent is the natural background music for the Rad Man, check out how "hard" he is in this clip: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yoe-5YorfBQ&mode=related&search=

I think that as far as trap games go, 3 games over .500 is still setting the bar too low.

The Bounce said...

Trap game usage has been heretofore changed to imply a subjects record of at least 10 games over .500.

Thanks, Hog.

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