First Half Review, Part II: There Goes My Gun

Picking up that first-half review rock from the S.v.B., who astutely argues that this season is a glancing shot to the groin of the already beleagured Knicks fan: the initial shock, the slow-building ache, etc. I say if Dolan and Isiah are going to play us like that, then we owe them a little something back.

"Cup check, bitch." Thwak!

Your First Half Cup Check continues apace with a look at the backcourt, that ragtage group of quick-to-shoot runners and gunners who pass up shots as often as Jerome James passes up a look at the dessert cart.

Guards

Quentin Richardson:
This is supposed to be about the first half, but I'd be remiss not to mention that Q-Rich, moving over to shooting guard in Jamal Crawford's absence, just dropped 30 and 12 on the Warriors. Crawford's injury really gives Q a chance to be the dangerous outside shooter he was in Phoenix. Of course, in Phoenix he had a point guard who knew how to feed him properly.

ESPN's John Hollinger contends that Richardson's best position is small forward since his slow feet make him a defensive liability, but on the Knicks Q-Rich tends to draw the toughest assignments (remember watching him try to contain Lebron last season?). Adding Jeffries can (at least theoretically) take some of that load off him, and with Crawford out maybe he can really step forward as a catch-and-shoot perimeter option.

Jamal Crawford:
At the time of his season-ending injury, Crawford was second on the team in points and assists and first in steals. Moreover, he was the Knicks' late game go-to guy, which in Isiah's scheme meant running a 1-4 isolation play described by the Inimitable S.v.B. thusly: "Dribble, let the clock run down, pass the ball. Now call for it back, dribble. Then shoot an off balance three."

All in all, I'm not happy to see him go down. He made great strides last season penetrating more and not always settling for the jumper. While he still throws up more than his share of bad shots, he's been to the line as much this year as last, indicating that he hasn't gone all the way back to old bad habits. Still, with his moves he still had a lot of potential to keep improving in that arena, and this injury sets back that progress. To top it off, he's basically a bargain by Knicks standards, and, as John Hollinger points out, he's one of the few Knicks who plays the role best suited to his talents. Considering that some amount of his minutes will now go to Collins and Robinson, we could be in store to witness greater levels of putridity than even the most cynical Knicks fan could imagine.

Needless to say, he'll be missed. The Knicks' quixotic quest for a playoff berth (and inevitable first-round exit) rested on Crawford's shoulders more than anyone else's besides Eddy Curry's. In fact, since Crawford has been the most adept at getting Curry the rock down low, even successfully completing a handful of alley-oops, his loss is also Curry's. I think the first reaction here in Bounce-land was akin to relief: If Crawford, and therefore the playoffs, are out of the picture, then our cause is furthered in that Isiah is pushed a little closer to the exit. But I'm not so sure that's true. After all, when the Knicks miss the playoffs now there will be a big, easily quantifiable reason to point to. "We were so close to contending, but then Jamal got hurt and we were sunk." Isiah is off the hook, rescued by one big Deus ex machina of a stress fracture.

Steve Francis:
Remember when Larry Brown compared pairing Francis with Marbury to the Frazier, Dick Barnett, and Earl the Pearl backcourt?

While Brown was busy making bold predictions - and you have to admire his confidence - Knicks Nation gave him their best Cheryl David impression ("Larry..." ).

Stevie "Save the Receipt" Francis has, alas, not exactly melded smoothly into the backcourt. He's rarely even shown flashes of his former abilities. I know I'm not exactly the first person to point this out, but neither he nor Marbury is a great passer or sees the court particularly well, which stifles the team's ability to make use of Eddy Curry or outside shooters like Q-Rich. Even if you wanted to run your offense with a guy like Marbury, wouldn't it make sense to employ a competent pass first point guard as his backup? Just to give a different look when you need it? Or am I missing something?

Stephon Marbury:
The Best Point Guard in the League™ is currently leading the league with 11.8 assists per game while tossing in 19 points and having what could legitimately be his third straight MVP season. He's maintaining or exceeding high standards across the board, shooting free throws at an 88% rate and, as usual, making everyone around him better. At 44-14, his team is a serious title contender, and their high energy run-and-gun style is redefining how winning basketball is played in this league, all keyed by his magnificent court sense and superhuman passing.

Meanwhile, Stephon Marbury put out a line of $15 basketball shoes, which is nice.

And it's lovely that he's generous with his footwear, because he's increasingy stingy on the court. His assists continue to plummet, from 8.1 two years ago to 5.5 so far this season. And, frankly, he sees the court so poorly it's probably best he just sticks to his preferred game. He's stronger than Crawford and much more willing to drive to the basket and take contact, but still utterly artless about how he goes about it. Last year, shackled by his mortal enemy Larry Brown, Steph scored 16.3 per game, his lowest total since his rookie year. This year? Unshackled and freed up by a coach who's in his corner? 14.7. (To be fair, that total is dragged down by a terrible start: Steph was sitting at 10.1 through the first 15 games this season.) Steph fought tooth-and-nail against Brown's system; it took him weeks to adjust to Isiah's system. Let's face it: there hasn't been a system for Steph since he left Georgia State. Now, can I please stop talking about Stephon Marbury?

Nate Robinson:
Where do you start with Nate Robsinson? The botched circus dunk? You know what? Let's do that. With the Knicks up by five in the second quarter of a Cavs game in late November, Nate had a breakaway layup chance off a steal. Nate decides to bounce the ball to himself, dunk contest style, but succeeds only in getting called for a travel. Oh that Nate, he's such a character!

But he learned his lesson, didn't he? "I won't try that again," he said. Okay Nate, great. "Unless we're up 20 points." D'oh! Could you just not try it at all? Could you, I don't know, play some defense? Pass?

Don't forget, Larry Brown wanted to demote Nate to the D-League last season just one game after Nate "won" the slam dunk contest. Between showboating on the court, picking fights with Jerome James and Malik Rose, and shooting spitballs on the team flight, he'd worn out his welcome. Isiah got his way that time, talking Brown out of the demotion. By the way, for the record, what would you give to see Jerome James fight Nate Robinson? Talk about a clash of styles. How would you set the odds on a fight like that? I say it's even through three rounds, then James gives up and goes out for cheesesteaks.

In case you're wondering about the Malik Rose thing, let's just say Tim Hardaway wouldn't have approved.

It's a fair question to ask just how Nate ended up in the NBA in the first place, and what is he still doing there? And for the record, he's lightning fast, has a 10' vertical leap, and he's able to get shots off against much bigger defenders. But for one second in his young career has there been even a glimmer of a spark of a hint that he gets it about how to make use of his skills to succeed in the NBA, rather than just to end up on the occasional highlight reel?

Mardy Collins:
The 29th pick in the 2006 draft, overshadowed by the absolutely bewildering Renaldo Balkman pick, the Temple Owl hasn't been heard from much, though that may be changing in light of the Jamal Crawford injury. You guys probably missed this, but it turns out that in a December 16 game against the Denver Nuggets, Collins pulled J.R. Smith down by the neck as Smith went for a fast-break layup, inciting an ugly brawl that could only have been uglier if Eduardo Najera had succeeded in pulling down Jared Jeffries's shorts. The John Chaney legacy lives on. Look, when you play limited minutes you just need to find a way to make your mark, that's all.

This Post Has Been Certified 100% Free of Swingers References

Quick hits on the All Star skills contest:

Props to Gerald Green wearing a #2 on his headband for Red Auerbach. And the dunk contest was definitely his, despite the fact that his last dunk should not have really been an all 10 score, which the judges gave him. That was definitely a "this contest is over" score after Nate-Rob blew his last dunk.


In fairness to Nate, his first dunk (the last one in this group) was my favorite of the night. Even more than Dwight Howard's "sticker dunk" (which was sick, and unfairly gypped by the judges). We kill Nate here, but I have to hand it to him; he did well through those first two rounds and, damn, that first dunk. You had to see it.

Green pulled out all the stops. He pulled off his jersey to reveal a retro (Dee Brown). He changed sneakers and even pumped them up before doing the no-look (a la Brown), and, in a genius move, was all set to dunk over a life-size cardboard cutout of Nate-Rob, until Nate himself stood in for the cutout (great Nate reaction shot as Green's balls whistled over his forehead).


Vote Barkley '08

In the upset of the night, Charles Barkley beat Dick Bavetta in their long-awaited foot race. Fittingly, both ended the race sprawled on the floor. Bavetta because he made a last-ditch effort to dive head-first to make up ground. Ask any major league first base coach, that head-first slide don't work, son. Barkley sprawled backward on his ass through the finish line since he'd turned around to mock Bavetta by backpedaling. But the day was his. Both competitors were gracious and classy after the event, and Sir Charles was happy to point out that "two hands of black jack" were being donated to charity ($50,000).


Gimme All Three of These

I had Arenas taking out Dirk in the three-point contest, but Jason Kapono< played spoiler and, well, spoiled it. The Heat are boring. Sorry. Good for Jason, but he'll never have Agent Zero's swag.

E-City, Lift Up Your Weary Head!

It's the last night of NBA basketball before the end of the first half, and Ernie Johnson is being carried in to the outdoor Las Vegas TNT studio on a velvet sedan chair by, in a potentially awkward bit of racial imagery, four large black men dressed as Roman guards. Barkley and the Jet look on in disbelief, yelling "Are you kidding me?!"

You know what this means, folks: it's All Star time!

The Knicks don't have any all stars. Nate-Rob is returning to the dunk contest, of course, and Eddy Curry may have been close, by the numbers, perhaps. Or just by virtue of the long-lamented death of the True Center. But a few games ago one broadcaster -- I think it was Gus Johnson -- put it well, saying, basically, E-City can't be an all star while still playing this much shy of his potential. At this point he might well be the most depressing Knick, even if he's one of the best. In fact, it's probably because he's one of the best. You might roll your eyes at Nate Robinson's antics, but what else do you expect from the guy? Eddy Curry, on the other hand, should be absolutely shitting on people down low all the time. As it is, he only does it when he feels like it. He's a 6'11" 285-pound center who refuses to block shots or rebound (he can pull in six or seven a game be accident).

It's appropriate he's been tabbed by Isiah as the guy the team is built around, because that mood of depressed expectations that surrounds him also sums up the state of the team. Here at the halfway mark they have 23 wins, matching their total from all of last year. Progress? Sure. But can't you just feel that buzz rumbling up in New York about our rejuvenated hoops team? No? Me neither.

* * *

They Also Mourn Who Do Not Wear Orange and Blue

The sports blog That's On Point came out with a list of the NBA's worst players today, the Ira Newble All-Stars. I don't really know how to break this to you all, but Jerome James made the list. I'm not that familiar with T.O.P., but they had me at this line:

Isiah Thomas could’ve spent that $35 million better if he lit it on fire in Penn Station and doused it out with the contents of Jim Dolan’s liquor cabinet.

For a depressing end to a depressing post, let's do a little Knicks salary pop quiz:

1. Who is the highest-paid Knick this year?
2. How much are the Knicks paying Shandon Anderson for his contributions to the '06-'07 squad?
3. How many McGriddles will Jerome James be able to by with his '08-'09 salary?

The answers:

1. Allan Houston ($20,718,750)
2. $8,500,000
3. 2,831,050 McGriddles (based on $2.19 per McGriddle for the egg, bacon, and cheese variety)

The Ira Newble All-Stars '07 [That's On Point]

Lupus and The Baron Davis Mean

Curry Speaks!

Let me jump in and post late-breaking style.

The Daily News and the Star-Ledger are reporting some interesting words of one Eddy Curry (via ESPN.com's Rumor Central).

So Eddy, what's up?

Asked if he'd be surprised if Garden chairman James Dolan fires Thomas, Curry said, "Yeah, I'll be shocked. I'll be pissed. I'll be trying to get out of here."

Out of here?

"Definitely. I'd be on my way out."

Gives us some interesting stuff to think about. Is that a threat or a promise? Mainly, I'm left with this question: why can you say "pissed" in the Daily News but not in the Star-Ledger?

Curry favors his boss [NY Daily News]
Curry: I'm out if Isiah is fired [Newark Star-Ledger]

Meet the New Boss, the Son of the Old Boss

The Wages of Sin

Here's the thing. We know why we're rooting against our team. We know why it's necessary. But if we think that knowledge leaves us innocent, that there won't be a judgment, well, I'm afraid it isn't that easy. We're angering the spirits of the ancestors here and we need to accept that and face our punishment. Which brings us to tonight's game.

Join the Mike Breen for President '08 Coordinating Committee:

"I've always thought anyone who does the wave should have their season tickets revoked." - Mike Breen, 4th quarter tonight.

Hearty kudos and salutations to you, Breeny! There is no excuse, no excuse, for that sort of behavior in the Garden. The Garden, for Christ's sake! IN MY HOME! IN MY BEDROOM! WHERE MY WIFE SLEEPS! ... where my children play with their toys.

That shit won't even fly at Conseco freaking Fieldhouse, and we're looking at it in the Garden?! Is this what happens when all your self-respect is gone? You root against your own team long enough that finally you lose all sense of identity and pride you ever had?

And so the ancestors have their say. The punishment is a losing just a little bit of your soul. Hey, I never said the ancestors were fair. We're doing what we have to do; they're doing what they have to do.

Am I Allowed to Enjoy Elton Brand?: One of the secret, arguably shameful joys of fantanking is how it loosens you up about enjoying the performance of opposing players. Now, a fan can always appreciate the play of a LeBron or an Agent Zero (especially, for some reason, with the NBA. It doesn't always work that way in other sports. Or maybe it's me). Really enjoying it is another matter. Should I feel bad watching Elton Brand methodically give the business to the Knicks throughout that first half?

See, this is where it always gets tricky for fans of bad teams. If you want to get into the lottery (um, not a factor for the Knicks) or get your coach or GM fired (there we are!) you can feel confident that you're wishing the best for your team by wishing the worst. But should you enjoy it? I'm not so sure you should. But here I go. In fact, I'm not ashamed of rooting for Elton to do his thing. Even at the risk of losing more shreds of my sports fan's soul. Anyway, none of this is why I ask the question.

What I mean is this: should I feel bad about rooting for Elton Brand because he went to Duke?

Jerome James Starts: The talk pre-game is that the Knicks are showcasing Big Snacks for a potential trade, but Breeny and Clyde also discuss how James provides the Knicks with a defensive presence to help out Eddy Curry. You know, because it's always a good sign when you need to supplement your center with a "defensive presence" like James. While Frye and Lee wait it out on the bench.

At the 3:16 mark James has committed two fouls and gets lifted for Lee. Breen: "And this experiment comes to an end." The Knicks immediately go on a 9-0 run. James never returns. Somewhere, LZ Granderson is molesting a collie.

The Al Trautwig Suicide Watch Enters Month #2: The Bounce expressed concern a couple weeks ago for the well-being of Al Trautwig, saying:

The guy looks like he almost cares. He looks like he just found his daughter's Myspace page. Something in his voice tells me he'll quit before the season ends, leaving MSG with no choice but to promote Bobbito Garcia.

Well, poor Trautwig is still far from recovery, telling us pre-game that the Knicks will be taking on "Elton Brant" and the Clippers.

All in all, it's really been downhill for Al since his Cool Runnings cameo. Although he did snap back long enough to slap the crowd's collective wrist for the whole wave thing.

Style Notes:

• Quentin Richardson carries a European carryall. I'm sorry you had to hear it from me. (Cameras caught him on the way into the Garden. Photographic evidence if/when it appears.)


• Why didn't anybody consult with me before giving Chris Kaman permission to cut his hair?

By the Way, Did You Want That Piece of Your Soul Back? Here You Go: